I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize