all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
