Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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