So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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