Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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