omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
