Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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