Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize