there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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