Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
