If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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