Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Less talking, more tequila
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
