I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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