the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
