i barfeds in our rink
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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