Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
honey bunches of taint.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
