So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
