haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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