Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
