He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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