if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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