we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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