Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
