Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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