this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He did a backflip because drugs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
