it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
