She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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