we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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