I wish I could punch you in the face.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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