we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
