I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
