i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
