i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
