Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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