Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
