You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
