My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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