yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
