Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Michael Bay diarrhea
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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