dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
3 2 1 whiskey
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
