I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
