her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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