You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
