you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
