Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
