If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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