none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish I only lived at night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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