I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Someone signed my nipple.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
