i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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