Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I would fuck him just for his dog
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