Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There r osticjed everywhere
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Drake has all the answers
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
