perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
