Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
pray to the hookup gods
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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