Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
