I saw his package. It spoke to me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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