HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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