in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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