oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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