yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
