shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
