Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize