The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
